Things I like about being a mom to a mircro-preemie

Being a mom to a micro-preemie hard. It’s challenging, and stressful and overwhelming at times. I have been lucky enough to find a great online support group at Preemie Blog Moms. It’s a place where I can go to chat with other parents who face the unique challenges of raising a micro-preemie. All to often it becomes a place for us to vent about our frustrations so I thought why not turn things around and make a list of things we like about being a micro-preemie mom. I am inviting fellow micro-preemie moms to add their favorite things about being a micro-preemie mom to the list by posting a comment. Then when we are having one of those bad days when you can’t see past the medications and doctors, and developmental delays we can check out the list and maybe it will help us feel just a little better.

Here are some of the things I like about being a micro-preemie mom:

1. While we were in the NICU Shawn and I got to do a lot of Kennedy’s cares. Since she was in there for 137 days it gave us plenty of time to learn how to take care of her and what was normal and what was not. Before Kennedy was born I honestly can’t remember ever changing a diaper. Not one in my entire 27 years on this planet. I like that I had doctors and nurses to give me hands on instruction on how to care for my baby including a hands on CPR class. If I had a full term baby I wouldn’t have know ¼ of the stuff I know now. I think I would have been more stressed out about taking Kennedy home if she was full term then I was taking her home from the NICU. Plus I can swaddle a baby like no body’s business.

2. Apena Monitors- Ok I know I shouldn’t be monitor reliant, but it is nice to have your baby hooked up to a monitor that will alert you if she stops breathing. One less thing to have to loose sleep over as a new parent.

3. Gratitude and Perspective- Being in the NICU day in and day out you see a lot of stuff. It’s different then reading about it or watching it on TV. You see joy and hope and fear and unimaginable grief, and not only do you see it, but you live it. There are constant reminders that even though your situation is horrible it could be so much worse than it is. It makes you grateful for everything. Every breath your child takes, and every drop of milk they eat. Every day that you get to spend with your child is a gift that so easily could have been taken away. It’s easy when you haven’t had to face such a hardship to look at other people’s stories and say “Oh, that is so tragic, so sad. What a strong family.” When you haven’t experienced it its just another sad story that couldn’t possibley happen to me, and there is nothing wrong with that. I did the same thing before Kennedy, but shortly after her birth both Shawn and I noticed that we looked at people differently. We no longer looked at a child who was bald and hooked to Ivs and thought poor sick kid has cancer. We started looking past the bald head, and the Ivs and just saw a kid. I can look at a baby with a tube up their nose and not even notice. I am so grateful to be able to see past medical equipment, and a diagnosis and actually see the person and have an idea of the struggle they are going through.

4. Relationships- I had no idea how many people love and care for us until Kennedy was born. When you go through such a tough situation it really brings people together. Family, friends, and even perfect strangers came together to help us. It was amazing and still is. I can’t tell you how many times I cried tears of joy when somebody stepped forward and helped us or even just sent a card to let us know they were thinking about us. Also Shawn and I have grown so much together through this experience. Stressful situations can take a tiny crack in a relationship and turn it into the Grand Canyon, but the relationship between Shawn and I has gotten so much stronger. We can face anything together and all those huge issues that most couples face seem like peanuts compared to what we have been through together.

5. Germs- No I don’t like germs, but I do like that I can be as neurotic as I want about germs and hand washing and no one can bat an eyelash at me for it. Every new moms dream.

6. Bravery in the face of medical procedures- I understand most new moms freak out a little when they have to watch their babies get shots. Who can blame them? It sucks to watch your little one get hurt and it sucks even more when you have to hold them down so that someone can poke a needle in them. Listening to a little body be racked by a cough is pretty awful too, but Kennedy had been through so much worse and done fine with it all and even though I don’t like watching her get shots or have her heel milked for 10 minutes for a blood sample its nothing compared to what I have seen done to her. If I can stand to see her tiny body paralyzed and hooked to a vent, then a set of vaccines is a cinch to watch.

7. The best part of being mom to my mircro-preemie- Kennedy. Shawn and I sometimes wonder if she would be different if she were full term. Would she look the same? Would she have the same personality? What ever the answer is I don’t care. I think being a micro-preemie is part of what makes Kennedy the person that she is today and I love who that person is. I wouldn’t change it for the world.